Transcribed by Stefan Almqvist:
A quite entertaining interview. Short,
but fun. The ten minute show started with the Tears of the Dragon video and
some guy talking briefly about Bruce's history.
A very, very bad interviewer called Zlatko did the asking. You can guess who
did the answering. =)
Z: Describe
yourself with three words.
B: Uhm...Short,
hairy and English.
Z: What's the
bravest thing you've done?
B: Eat seaurchin.
Z: Seaurchin?
B: Yeah.
Z: What's that?
B: It's a kind of
sushi, and it really tastes disgusting.
Z: What does
love mean to you?
B: Oh, I could give
some terrible glibb response here, but I'm not going to, I'm not going to.
Well there's several ways you can look at love.
You could look at it like Richard Hell from the Void Oids who said
"Immortal love comes in spurts". Or you could say love is a four
letter word, or you could say that love is two people joining themselves
together and becomes soulmates, and understand and care for each other for the
rest of their lives.
You could say any of those really.
Z: What's your
best childhood memory?
B: Probably try
climb down rabbit holes when I was a kid.
Z: Rabbitholes?
B: Yeah.
Z: They're like,
small.
B: Well I was very
small when I was a kid.
I was really like 5 years old. It seemed possible at the time.
Z: Did you catch
someone?
B: No, I never
caught a rabbit, no.
I caught a beer bottle I suppose, but that was it.
Z: If you were
an animal, what kind of an animal would you be?
B: I think I have
to say dolphin.
Z: Why just a
dolphin?
B: Uhm, they have
no real natural predators, they have a great sexlife, they're very social, and
they have a really, pretty good diet. And they're smart!
Z: Is there a
life after death?
B: Uhm... I'll let
you know.
Z: So, what do
you think is sexy?
B: Uhm, most things
with a pulse.
Z: How do you
mean pulse?
B: Well as long as
it has a heart beating! *laughs*
Z: *laughs* I
thought about things like animals and things like that.
B: Oh, animals! Ah,
I meant human beings with a pulse. Female human beings with a pulse.
Let's not get too specific really, at my age you can't get too fuzzy, you know.
Z: *laughs* Ok.
Can you give me a recipe for a good kiss.[i]
B: Lips.
Z: [i]Just lips?
B: Well it's
important to begin with isn't it, really?
Z: Yeah.
*laughs*
B: Uhm, for example
if you're kissing, you know, if you're kissing the wrong bit, if would be good
to start with the lips, because people get upset if you kiss other things
first.
Z: What's the
funniest pick-up phrase you have experienced?
B: Uhm... eer...
"Hi, I'm a nymfomaniac.".
Z: What did you
do then?
B: I said:
"That's very interesting! Tell me more!" And so...
Z: Did it
develope into something else? Friendship or?
B: No, we went and
had sex together immediately! She was a nymfomaniac, she wasn't kidding! She
was an Australian psycology-student, back in 1983, and she was a good laugh
actually. Jolly good fun. She wasn't kidding, she was like "Hello, I'm a
nymfomaniac, I'd just really love to have sex, I'd just really like to have sex
with you." and I was like "Uhm...why?", she goes "What?
Because I just want to!", I was like "Well, that's a good enough
reason!".
Z: *laughs* So
is that the wierdest thing you've done?
B: Uhm.... no.
Z: Can you tell
me something?
B: Noo, no, no, no,
I can't say the wierdest thing I've ever done on camera. *laughs*
Z: The next
wierdest thing then?
B: The next
wierdest thing I've ever done...
Uhm... Probably little things like jumping up and down in the shower and
things, to dry myself off. I jump up and down in the shower you see, because
I'm very hairy, so I have to shake myself like a dog, and then that way the
towel gets less wet.
Z: If you would
be invisible for one day, what would be the first thing you'd do?
B: Uhm, I probably
want to go and... think I'd probably go and sit in the white house.
In the oval office for a few hours, and find out what they say to each other
for real.
Z: Could you
recommend me a film you would want me to see?
B: Uhm... no. Yeah
probably. Have you seen Brassed Off?
Z: No. Is that
an english or..
B: Yes an english
film, yeah. Go see Brassed Off. If you go see Brassed Off you're basically
seeing my childhood.
Z: Ok, thank
you!
B: Fine, thanks
mate!
After the Wicker Man video, they armwrestled.
Bruce
won.
=)