Transcribed by Stefan Almqvist:
A quite entertaining interview. Short,
but fun. The ten minute show started with the Tears of the Dragon video and
some guy talking briefly about Bruce's history.
A very, very bad interviewer called Zlatko did the asking. You can guess who did the answering. =)
Z: Describe yourself with three words.
B: Uhm...Short, hairy and English.
Z: What's the bravest thing you've done?
B: Eat seaurchin.
Z: What's that?
B: It's a kind of sushi, and it really tastes disgusting.
Z: What does love mean to you?
B: Oh, I could give
some terrible glibb response here, but I'm not going to, I'm not going to.
Well there's several ways you can look at love.
You could look at it like Richard Hell from the Void Oids who said "Immortal love comes in spurts". Or you could say love is a four letter word, or you could say that love is two people joining themselves together and becomes soulmates, and understand and care for each other for the rest of their lives.
You could say any of those really.
Z: What's your best childhood memory?
B: Probably try climb down rabbit holes when I was a kid.
Z: They're like, small.
B: Well I was very
small when I was a kid.
I was really like 5 years old. It seemed possible at the time.
Z: Did you catch someone?
B: No, I never
caught a rabbit, no.
I caught a beer bottle I suppose, but that was it.
Z: If you were an animal, what kind of an animal would you be?
B: I think I have to say dolphin.
Z: Why just a dolphin?
B: Uhm, they have no real natural predators, they have a great sexlife, they're very social, and they have a really, pretty good diet. And they're smart!
Z: Is there a life after death?
B: Uhm... I'll let you know.
Z: So, what do you think is sexy?
B: Uhm, most things with a pulse.
Z: How do you mean pulse?
B: Well as long as it has a heart beating! *laughs*
Z: *laughs* I thought about things like animals and things like that.
B: Oh, animals! Ah,
I meant human beings with a pulse. Female human beings with a pulse.
Let's not get too specific really, at my age you can't get too fuzzy, you know.
Z: *laughs* Ok. Can you give me a recipe for a good kiss.[i]
Z: [i]Just lips?
B: Well it's important to begin with isn't it, really?
Z: Yeah. *laughs*
B: Uhm, for example if you're kissing, you know, if you're kissing the wrong bit, if would be good to start with the lips, because people get upset if you kiss other things first.
Z: What's the funniest pick-up phrase you have experienced?
B: Uhm... eer... "Hi, I'm a nymfomaniac.".
Z: What did you do then?
B: I said: "That's very interesting! Tell me more!" And so...
Z: Did it develope into something else? Friendship or?
B: No, we went and had sex together immediately! She was a nymfomaniac, she wasn't kidding! She was an Australian psycology-student, back in 1983, and she was a good laugh actually. Jolly good fun. She wasn't kidding, she was like "Hello, I'm a nymfomaniac, I'd just really love to have sex, I'd just really like to have sex with you." and I was like "Uhm...why?", she goes "What? Because I just want to!", I was like "Well, that's a good enough reason!".
Z: *laughs* So is that the wierdest thing you've done?
B: Uhm.... no.
Z: Can you tell me something?
B: Noo, no, no, no, I can't say the wierdest thing I've ever done on camera. *laughs*
Z: The next wierdest thing then?
B: The next
wierdest thing I've ever done...
Uhm... Probably little things like jumping up and down in the shower and things, to dry myself off. I jump up and down in the shower you see, because I'm very hairy, so I have to shake myself like a dog, and then that way the towel gets less wet.
Z: If you would be invisible for one day, what would be the first thing you'd do?
B: Uhm, I probably
want to go and... think I'd probably go and sit in the white house.
In the oval office for a few hours, and find out what they say to each other for real.
Z: Could you recommend me a film you would want me to see?
B: Uhm... no. Yeah probably. Have you seen Brassed Off?
Z: No. Is that an english or..
B: Yes an english film, yeah. Go see Brassed Off. If you go see Brassed Off you're basically seeing my childhood.
Z: Ok, thank you!
B: Fine, thanks mate!
After the Wicker Man video, they armwrestled.
Bruce won. =)